![]() Thanks to the rich and creative history of Western culture exoticizing and objectifying Asian women, I get a lot of matches. ![]() He describes being subjected to the uncomfortable attention of someone who has "yellow fever," as well as the outright rejection of rarely receiving Tinder's congratulatory "You've matched!" message.Īs an Asian female, my experience is vastly different from that of an Asian male, though just as hopeless about today's avoidant, unromantic, online dating culture. Last year, Adam Chen published his dispirited take on Buzzfeed News: " Being Asian On Tinder Means Getting Rejected Or Fetishized And Neither Feels Good." As an Asian-American male, he fits neither the exotic FOB ("fresh off the boat") persona nor the weird effeminate K-pop vibe. I'm fascinated with the kinds of restrained, polite messages they receive, and they've experienced firsthand some of the bizarre, fervent, and emoji-laden love notes that fill my inbox.īeing Asian on a dating app makes for a unique experience. In return, my friends have stepped into my shoes as a 5-foot-tall, 28-year-old Korean-American chick in Brooklyn. This way, I've gotten to experience dating apps as a 24-year-old Egyptian-American film student, a 23-year-old tall, blond social media manager, and a 31-year-old MFA-holder from Queens who bears a striking resemblance to Benedict Cumberbatch. I figured out the best way to enjoy Tinder is to switch phones with a friend of any gender and delve into the dating world from their perspective. They always start the same way–with an abrasive, sweaty message, oblivious to the boundaries of the social contract and grammatical correctness.įull disclosure: This is me. The most interesting conversations are profane and precious, like baby teeth or blood diamonds. I've shared my personal details with strangers who are probably in their underwear or on the toilet all over New York City. In order of appearance in my life, Tinder, OkCupid, CoffeeMeetsBagel, Bumble, and Hinge have all occupied space on my shitty phone. You’re welcome, babe.I've been lying about using dating apps since 2012. Whether you just moved, left a toxic friendship, or just want someone to brunch with, here are some apps to download that'll help you find the Monica to your Rachel, the Jane to your Daria, the Miranda to your Carrie, (insert iconic TV friendship of your choice) all without having to leave the couch. You know how dating apps can help you find your next hookup, relationship, and/or ambiguously romantic affair? (Just us? Okay.) Well, there are some really solid apps to make friends out there that can help you find and vet new besties too. Yes, we’re talking about friendship apps. But fear not! Modern technology is here to help you bridge the adult friendship gap. So yeah, making friends may have been easier in high school or college when all it took was an inside joke, a few classes together, and/or a sports team to link you up with a ride-or-die bestie who knows your deepest secrets and will binge watch seasons upon seasons of Sex and the City reruns with you. ![]() In short, if you can even find the time to forge a new friendship (which, good luck) it can be all too easy to get in your head and psych yourself out. ![]() ![]() This article isn’t for you go have fun with your thriving circle of adult friends.) Not only are you busy trying to keep yourself alive and financially stable, which can seriously cut into your socializing time, but you’re also more aware of other people’s (aka your potential new friends’) boundaries and time constraints. Not to get all “lol #adulting” on you, but making friends as an adult is legitimately hard! It just is, okay? (And if it’s not hard for you, that’s amazing, congrats, we’re literally so happy for you, but please feel free to see yourself out. ![]()
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